I’ve known Cowboy Dave, aka Dave Ewing for a few years now.  He often calls my radio show with a skewed take on current affairs.  But he’s also a poet.  He called me yesterday and read me the poem he composed about his beloved mother Ruth Ewing, who will be buried this weekend. I was laughing and crying while listening to the Cowboy poet and wanted to share it with you.

Toothpicks In My Panties 

Some things in life must be accepted as plain and simple fact.

It is a magnetic and accepted truth that opposites attract.

 Back in the early fifties two souls crossed paths and found such attraction.

When Ruth met Joe, she enamored him. She was a woman of action. 

Mom lost her home at five years of age, and never once looked back.

She and her brother went to a Masonic home and got their lives on track. 

Times were hard for everyone and it was a blessing to have a place to live.

And from that early childhood experience, Mom learned what it meant to give. 

And give she did, gave her life to Dad, while they both worked at Doane’s.

Mom worked in the office while Dad managed farmers and their loans. 

Now I started this poem on the premise that Mom and Dad were opposites,

And in some ways they were.

But they were also very similar, in many ways, as family and friends would concur. 

One place that they differed was on the subject of toothpicks.

And where those useful splinters went when the washer did it’s tricks.  

If ever you’ve dined with my father this comes as no great shock,

The man enjoys a toothpick with the after-dinner talk.

And quite often when its’ job was done, that pick went in his pocket.

To wait for cleansing agitation when the washing machine would rock it. 

And floating in that handy machine amidst bleach and cleansing suds,

More than one time the little splinter wound up in Mom’s under-duds. 

Over fifty-eight years ago, they started married life in the East St. Louis shanties,

And over those long years she got countless toothpicks in her panties. 

Mom was always going to write a book and use that as the theme.

But she was always giving to us, and never fulfilled that dream. 

But don’t you worry about her not getting that book done,

Her legacy is the number of people that she gave so much fun. 

Mom lived to make others happy. Oh how she loved to cook.

With hours spent in the kitchen, there was no time to write a book.  

She could make a feast out of peanut butter, lettuce and some Triscuits.

Wonderful meats, delicious desserts, and slap-your grandma biscuits. 

I wish I’d have known the very last time that I would enjoy her cooking.

One of many lessons she left me with was don’t waste time back-looking. 

Ever forward was the way she was and never have any regrets.

We all are better for knowing her, we owe her many debts. 

The people that loved her so very much will have many years to speak,

But simple words will never truly capture a woman so unique.

The word is, Tiger Woods and his wife are back together, living in the same house, platonically.  Doing what they can to save that sponsorship money.  Would you have a pretend marriage for cash or is there enough money in the world to make you stay with a loser?

 I’m broadcasting live from the auto show at Bartle Hall and had this thought. If you could trade in your old model for something shiny and new, would you upgrade your car or spouse? Of course your answer might depend on who’s standing behind you at the time.

My favorite song I’m playing now on KUDL is “Need you Now” by Lady Antebellum.  It’s basically about drunk dialing an old flame.  Have you ever done that and if so, how did it work out for you?  Did the tipsy call bring you back together or just leave you with an embarrassing hangover?

My friend Tracy was eating a big bowl of ice cream while watching “The Biggest Loser” last night.  For her, the show’s entertaining, not inspirational.  Why do we watch such shows, which basically exploit the contestants?  Are we really rooting for them or just glad that there’s someone out there fatter than we are?

John Mayer likes to kiss and tell when it comes to Jessica Simpson.  He said she was like sexual napalm and had nothing but praise for her bedroom acrobatics, but she’s still outraged.  She even complained to Oprah about it.  Do you think she’s really upset or is that an act?  Would you be offended if your man did the same?

A new survey finds that half of all couples secretly read their partner’s e-mails, texts or facebook messages.  And women are nosier then guys.  Now there are some who would say, “If he has nothing to hide, what’s the big deal”?  But don’t we all have a right to privacy?  I understand how at times you might “accidentally” read his personal correspondence, but trust is key to a good relationship.  Just ask Elin Woods!

Every evening on my drive home from the radio station, I pass a house still lit up for Christmas.  When do you take down your decorations or do you leave them up year round, especially the lights?  I still have my xmas wreath on the front door because it matches the snow on the ground.  Once that melts, I’ll take it down.  Maybe.

I got a poignant text from an 11 year old who wrote “I’m sad because I can’t get anyone to go out with me”.  Remember how you felt at that age?  Me neither.  But I’m curious.  At what age were you allowed to “go out” with someone of the opposite sex or are you still sitting by the phone waiting for that first call?  (Actually, who sits by the phone anymore when you’ve got a cell phone)

I got a cool postcard from Karl Edwards, an artist who makes a living with custom dog portraits.  His drawing above looks just like my dog Butch.  So I gave Karl a call to ask about his business.  He says it’s a little slow but he’s standing by, with pen and ink in hand, ready to bring your beloved pet to life on paper.  Check out his website www.karledwards.com